


Not

by aWishUponPolaris



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16122914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aWishUponPolaris/pseuds/aWishUponPolaris
Summary: For want of a homeFor want of a townFor want of a town which is homeFor want of a home in this townI am home now[ Trigger warning for brief racist, homophobic, ableist language ]





	Not

Ah, my hometown

Or, that is,  _ some _ town

This hometown is not my own town

I can no longer lay claim to this town

This no-longer-hometown

This place-where-I-grew-up town

This used-to-be-my-own town

With the kitchen that taught me to be Latino

and the side streets that taught me I was a spic

With the library shelves that showed me I was gay

and the convenience store shelves that showed me I was a faggot

With the offices that told me I was autistic

And the schools that reminded me I was a freak

These streets used to seem too big for a small me, that I could never grow into all of them, that I could never be enough

Now seem too small for my thoughts, my colors, my pride, my home

    bleeding, breaking, tearing

         at the 

              seams

Because now I am too much

Two sides, one town, one environment

I refuse to be a product of my home environment

My own environment

I own my environment

This town is not my home environment

This hometown is not home

This home is not

My home is not location

My home is emotion

Location is not 

    her tongue quipping retorts with every breath

Location is not 

    his sure hands on his steering wheel

Location is not 

    her cheeky jokes and speech like poetry

My home is, is, is

My home is

    cuffed cutoffs and pink hair and unicorn sweaters and rainbow shoes

My home is

    cannot be confined in these too-small streets

My home is

    you are the prologue when I am chapter five

My home is

    I am saying goodbye a year after I left

My home is

    not

Wanting, searching, finding,

Discovering

Self-discovering

New-town-ing

New-home(?)-ing

New town-that-is-home-ing

For want of a town that can be home too

For want of a home in this town anew

Finding that rare town on a different river, 

old yet new, brash, quick in pace

Never in a rut, gone on itself

Once more am I Latino

Once more am I gay

Once more am I autistic

Once

    and for all

I am me

I own my environment

My home environment

My hometown is not my home now

And this new town is not my hometown

But I think I'm home now


End file.
